Saturday, 4 August 2012

‘My boyfriend’s parents rejected me and his child’



Abandoned by lover, despised by would-have-been in-laws, Fatimoh Jaji faces life stoically with her daughter even as she hopes for N6million that would rid her of stigma. A tumour has disfigured the right side of her face. Fatimoh Jaji is just 24 years old, an age when she should be enjoying life to the fullest. But she looks much older than this age. And definitely, she is not having a swell time. Admitted, she is neither suffering from hunger nor homelessness, two of the things which absence most human beings find most unbearable. Rather, her albatross is the social stigma she suffers as a result of a health condition which has disfigured the right side of her face. Looking at her is therefore not for the faint of heart, and she confirmed it. “There are some people who see me on the road and they turn away in both fear and revulsion. That has happened to me not once or twice and it keeps happening constantly,” she added. Despite the condition which makes some people not to even want to look at her, she was still lucky enough to get a boyfriend who impregnated her. She gave birth to a baby girl, Halima, on February 15. Sadly, Halima’s birth only brought more trauma and social rejection for her.

“When my mother went to inform my boyfriend’s parents that I had given birth to a grandchild for them, they told my mother that the child wasn’t their son’s and that they were not interested in it.

They said they couldn’t have anything to do with a disfigured being like me and that their son would never marry me. They also said my parents and I should care for the child the way we cared for the pregnancy.”

Ganiyu, a Kick Against Indiscipline (KAI) officer who is Halima’s father, backed his parents’ action in a way, going by Halima’s statement that “Ganiyu said he would only marry me if I get healed of my condition.”

And on if he’s supporting her financially to get healed, she was emphatic that “he is not.”
Speaking on how she and Ganiyu met, she said, “It was when we had accommodation problems and we went to stay with my grandmother.

While there, I would sometimes sit outside in the evenings and Ganiyu approached me that he liked me.

After a time, I began to like him too and that’s how our relationship began.”
Fatimoh’s condition has been diagnosed as neurofibromatosis. “I was four years old when a boil developed above my right eye and as I grew older, it grew bigger.”
Now it is so big that her right eye is no longer visible and yet it still bulges down in a mass to her chin and mouth region.

But they didn’t begin to seek serious medical intervention until when Fatima was about eight years old in 1998 and it was apparent that the problem wasn’t going to go away.
“We went to the general hospital on the Island from where we were referred to LUTH.
Doctors operated on it at LUTH, saying it might and might not return and that it was best treated abroad.

Three days after the operation, it began growing again and they discharged me after a month, saying that they could still do the operation again, but we would have to pay for it again.”

The condition has really robbed her of a lot of life’s benefits.
In addition to Ganiyu’s parents rejecting her for their son, she couldn’t acquire education because of it.

“I was in primary 4 when I was advised to stop coming to school.
They said I was scaring the other students and that’s how my education stopped.” Now, she is a roadside trader at the famous Idumota Market, Lagos where some people give her alms.
“Sometimes, people give me money when they come across me in the market.
I know they do so out of sympathy for me. Even when I tell them I’m a trader and not a beggar, they insist on giving me money.”

Like the typical Nigerian, Fatimoh has not given up that there’s a better and brighter day for her.

While her spirit should have been broken by her condition to the extent of committing suicide, she is rather full of zest and optimistic that when there’s life there’s hope.
Her optimism might not be unconnected to medical reports that claim that her condition can be successfully turned around.

“When we went to LUTH, the head of the medical team that attended to me categorically stated that my condition is best treated abroad. When they operated on me, they did so only in the belief that it just might work for me.

“When the LUTH operation failed, we sought the assistance of the Lagos State Government and we were referred to LASUTH.
When they examined me there, they also opined that it would be best if I go abroad for the necessary intervention.

They are also willing to do the operation but we’ve not done it there because their statement that it would be better if we go abroad made us recall that LUTH’s doctors also said that, so we realised it would be just a waste of time doing it in Nigeria again.”
Even though she has been advised to travel out to seek better medical help, she hasn’t done so and Saturday Mirror asked her point-blank why she hasn’t.
“We cannot afford the cost,” she responded sadly. “It is millions of naira, six million at least, and we cannot afford it. I know if my parents had the money, they would gladly give it to me.
If I had it too, I wouldn’t mind spending it just to make me return to normal.
Please I am calling on Nigerians to come to my aid so I can live a normal life,” she said as she broke down in tears.
Sobbing uncontrollably, she said, “Tejuosho Diagnostic Centre has helped us to get in touch with a hospital in India and they said they can correct my condition with three operations over the course of a year.
“For the first operation, I will spend five days in the hospital, recuperate there for two weeks, then I will return for the second surgery three or six months afterwards, follow the same procedure again before returning the third.
“Each operation will cost $7,500 asides the cost of flight tickets, accommodation, feeding. They also said I must come with a companion so it’s two of us that will have to go together.
Please I beg Nigerians to come to my aid.”

To help her raise this money contact the bellow address or you can email our facebook page to facilitate it or you can contact the Tejuosho Diagnostic Centre or  LUTH:

HEAD OFFICE:
Mirror House, 155/161, Broad Street, Lagos
Telephone: 0702 710 7407 

ABUJA OFFICE:
NICON Insurance House, Second Floor, District Area, Abuja.
Telephone: 0807 042 8249